Loving a person really messes with you; doesn’t it? There’s no feeling in the world that quite compares to love.
So, your relationship is over and you don’t know what to do with yourself. You are just sulking, reminiscing on the good times that the two of you shared when days were brighter. Your probably wondering what he/ she is doing right now and if they ever stop to think about you the way that you do him/her. Because of this you decide that it’s a bright idea to open your laptop or perhaps pick up your phone and look at their Facebook just to see what they have been up to. Now you are on their Facebook page wishing that you were apart of their day and checking to see if he/ she mentioned you at all. So now you’re reading their comments and statuses. You see that he/ she has added a new picture and they look really nice. You keep scolling and something catches your eye. You see that they have changed their relationship status from in a relationship with (insert your name here) to being in a relationship with someone else. Hey…you may even know the person. It’s now at this point that your blood starts to boil and you automatically think WHAT THE HELL!!!…
Of course the scenario may vary. Perhaps you heard about your old flames new relationship from a friend or, heck, they may have even told you about it themselves; but it goes without saying, that the initial physical reaction is probably based on the person and their personality. Some people may scream and curse and others may just be at a complete loss for words. However, that initial feeling of anger and bewilderment are pretty universal. Especially, if the two of you have just broken up.
This initial feeling is also completely understandable. I mean, when you stop and think about all of the times the two of you had and you may have said i love you. It is hard to fathom a person just throwing all of it away as if you and that thing you guys shared meant absolutely nothing. That can be extremely disheartening. So, you know what? Go ahead and cry…I will wait…
Are you done now? Do you feel better?…because you can definitely cry a little longer if you choose to. Oh, you’re fine now? Good! Let’s get into it.
I do not usually condone crying, but in this case I believe it to be necessary and healthy. However, it is extremely unnecessary to cry for days and weeks and months, etc…Once you get your tears out of your system, you can now clear your mind and let go of some your pent up frustration toward your ex. Once this is done you can analyze the reason(s) that your ex moved on so quickly.
Once upon a time, not so long ago. I use to make assumptions about different aspects of my relationships and also about the people that I was involved with. It took me some time, but I learned that this is the wrong thing to do. 90% of people probably assume things in their relationships and about their spouses/ exes that are not 100% factual. With this said, it would not be wise to assume that you know the reason why your ex has moved on so quickly when you have not even asked them.
There can be many variables and factors that may play into the reason as to why they moved on as fast as they did. I will be highlighting some of the top reasons why people move right out of one relationship and into another.
Reason #1: Your spouse may have just not been that into you. I am sorry to say this, but this is the truth in many cases. Maybe your spouse fell out of love/ like with you. Maybe your spouse never was in love/ like with you. This may just have to be something that you must digest. I know that it may feel like swallowing a ball laced with shards of glass, but if this is the case for you, it is necessary to face the music and realize that you are not getting him/ her back because they don’t want you! Don’t be mad at me. Just think of it as tough love. Don’t embarrass your self by trying to figure them out or trying to get them back because it is completely irrelevant and you will cause yourself to look desperate and THAT IS NOT SEXY. (Just saying)
Reason #2: This may just be a rebound. There is not a person on this earth that does not know or identify with rebound syndrome. A rebound is a living person that is used as human shield or bullet proof vest if you will. Let me explain. When a person gets out of a relationship (whether it be by their doing or another’s) some may tend to feel alone and anxious immediately after their split from their significant other. This is actually quite normal. In an attempt to become sane or normal again, a person may rush back into the dating field in order to occupy their time and masque whatever stress and anxiety they may have newly acquired since their break up. Once they meet a person they think they may like or one that seems interested in them, they reel them in and wear their new prize as a bullet proof vest against emotions that they could not deal with after their previous relationship. Your ex now thinks that he/ she is exhibiting sanity. They will now flaunt the fact that they are now happy with someone else and are doing just fine without you. In most cases, this is all a show. Luckily for you, 9 times out of 10, rebound relationships do not work out. They are like bricks and mortar with no foundation. The relationship is sure to crumble. Unfortunately, an innocent outside party is going to fall victim in this scheme because they may genuinely like your ex, however, their relationship with your ex is/ was all smoke in mirrors. (You may also want to consider that you are that bullet proof vest that I am describing.) On the good side, you have a chance of getting them back if you want them back.
Reason #3: They are running. People believe this one to be a myth. However, do not be fooled! This is NOT a myth! As a recovering runner myself, I am here to tell you that we are alive & well and that we DO exist. This is a person that you will have to figure out. However, if you try and fail do not be discouraged for you are not the first and will certainly not be the last person that will attempt to do so. If your ex is a runner, you really need to dig deep and ask yourself if they are really worth it. You should also find out their TRUE feelings for you. Although, runners are alluring and slightly mysterious they are a handfull. Making a emotional connection with absolutely no dissension maybe hard to obtain. This can really mess with your head. However, if this person is not so mysterious to you and you KNOW for a fact that they love you, try to catch them if you can. If they do it again. Just let them go. It’s not your fault, they just have some issues. Let them be. (I will give you a clue into a runners heart. You know that they are at least fascinated with you, if not in love with you, when the mystery begins to fade and they become amazed and confused at the fact you see through them. This can also be sarcasm or acting so Beware!)
Reason #4: This relationship maybe not be something new. It just maybe new to you. This may be due to many different things. This may be because you did not pay attention to your ex and because of this they sought attention outside of the relationship and found it. This may also be because your ex is a Mac…ie. player, dog, pimp, cheater, or whatever you may call it. If this is the case, it is needless to say that you should probably get rid of them. Being with someone like that can never provide you a conducive relationship. Anyway, with reason #4, if you do decide that you want this person back, despite the circumstances or your specific situation, you will have to put in work. This person won’t usually take you back right away, but it is possible to regain their love and piece your relationship back together.
Reason #5: He/ she needed a change. If this is the case, it implies that this person is fickle. Whether you want to deal with a finicky personality is up to you. Just know, that if this is the type of person that you are dealing with, there are definitely ways to get them back. Some people need a change because they are bored and the routine is becoming agonizing. This person maybe right back or they may resist. Key to getting this person back is to identify the problem immediately and address it before someone new comes along that brings something completely different to the table. Some people need change just so that they can experience something other than you (which is what they are use to) this person usually comes right back. However, if they do not you can apply the same resolution as the bored person scenario to this one. However, with this type of person I recommend that you let them go for awhile and if they come back, they are a keeper.
That concludes my top 5 reasons as to why someone may jump right into another relationship. If you have any comments or concerns leave your opinions below and let’s discuss them. If you like this blog post read some of my others and follow me.